


I don't think it's going to rain

by sandyk



Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: Cheating, F/M, set somewhere in s3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-24 00:03:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13799157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: "Cheater cheater, you're a cheater," Amy said, sitting up and laughing. She was naked so Jonah thought she looked amazing even if she was making fun of him.





	I don't think it's going to rain

**Author's Note:**

> For the trope bingo square Matchmaker. Title and opening quote from the national's daughters of the soho riot. not mine, not for profit.

_I don't have any questions_   
_I don't think it's gonna rain_   
_You were right about the end_   
_It didn't make a difference_

 

"Cheater cheater, you're a cheater," Amy said, sitting up and laughing. She was naked so Jonah thought she looked amazing even if she was making fun of him.

"I called Kelly, I left a voicemail," Jonah said. He knew he was an asshole. 

"Yeah, leave your girlfriend a voicemail breaking up with her when you already had your pants off, you're totally not a cheater," Amy said. 

"You're enjoying this," Jonah said. "I feel like a jerk." 

Amy smiled and laid back down, half on top of him. She really looked happy. "It's nice to have a win, though, yes, I feel bad for Kelly. I mean, you dumped her on voicemail just to get with me. You're awful."

"But not in bed with you, right?" Jonah didn't mean to sound insecure. But he was. He wasn't going to pretend with Amy. He probably shouldn't have been pretending with anyone.

"You were great," Amy said. "Really. Much better than I expected."

"That's not a compliment," Jonah said. 

"No, you were great," Amy said. "I just, for some reason, Dina and Cheyenne were convinced you wouldn't be great at sex."

"Well, you can tell them otherwise, please," Jonah said. "No, wait, don't. Don't tell them." He looked at his phone, Kelly had sent him a text. "Shit." 

The text said 'are you breaking up with me? over voicemail?'

Jonah rubbed his mouth and got out of bed. He put his pants on because that felt nicer, more like break up clothes. So he called Kelly and did the awful break up talk in Amy's bathroom with the door closed. He apologized a lot. 

Then he said he was sorry and Kelly hung up on him. 

He opened the bathroom door and Amy said, "I don't need to watch you pee."

Jonah came out of the bathroom and took off his pants. "I was having an excruciating break up with Kelly and I really hurt her. I should go home."

"Oh, come on, you sinned already, come back to bed," Amy said. "I'll be super nice to her at work tomorrow and we can pretend not to be dating for a week or two."

"A month," Jonah said. "A month, okay?"

"A month?" Amy pulled back the blanket and shimmied a little. It was really hot. "Okay, for you, a month."

He got in her bed and horribly, almost completely forgot about how awful he'd just been. Then Amy shifted against him and sighed and he was really in love with her. 

!!

In the cold light of day, Amy felt kind of like an asshole. Especially since the cold light day was the next day, after Jonah called in sick and Kelly was miserable and told everyone Jonah dumped her. On voicemail. 

Naturally, Dina, Cheyenne, Mateo, Justine and Marcus all came up to her and asked if Jonah was really sick and whether and she and Jonah were dating yet. "No, of course, not," Amy said. She said it to a lot of people. 

Kelly came up to her and tried to be positive and cheerful but she was a little sniffly and Amy felt like an asshole. She was a total asshole. Amy said, "Jonah's not so great. I'm sure you'll find someone great." Someone not in love with Amy, Amy thought. 

She went home to her house and found Jonah cleaning. "The place is not a mess," Amy said. "Since when do you clean?"

"I clean all the time, things with Garrett, it's weird, okay?" He sat down on her couch. "How was Kelly?"

"Miserable. She told everyone you dumped her over voicemail," Amy said. "I didn't correct her and say there was also a miserable conversation in my bathroom that you felt like you had to put on pants for." She sat down next to him. She squeezed Jonah's surprisingly muscular thigh. When did he have time to work out? 

"It seemed even more awful to break up with her naked, straight from your bed. A bed of cheating," Jonah said. "Me cheating."

"And everyone thought I would be cheating," Amy said, smiling widely. 

"I know, you're so proud," Jonah said.

"We should, you know what would make it better?" Amy grabbed Jonah's thigh again. "We find her someone to date. Then when we come out, she doesn't care, she's got a great guy. Way better than you."

"I don't think I should participate in that conversation," Jonah said. "Maybe you shouldn't either."

"No, I'm going to. I'm going to get Mateo to do it, I'm going to tell him that it would hurt your feelings if Kelly was with someone better than him," Amy said. "I have to ask, when do you work out? Your thighs are so, like, fit."

"I tried biking to work a little but now I just bike to the farmer's market or for groceries. So, um, biking. On a bicycle. Also pilates and resistance bands," Jonah said. "You want to have sex again, is this sort of weird foreplay?"

"It can be," she said.

It was better than she thought it would be again. She loved his hands all over her, how he insisted on wearing a condom and listened to her. It was a low bar but he leaped right over it. She loved having him inside her and the way his hair got all sweaty and moved around. 

!!

Jonah went back to work with a heavy heart even though he was also so so happy to finally have Amy. He pushed the heavy heart to the forefront of his mind so he didn't give away the good news part. 

Kelly was avoiding him, so that he deserved. He hoped she never found out about Amy, about what he'd done. It would make her feel small and it seemed super cruel. Which made him feel worse, because it was, in hindsight, his inevitable cruelty. It was probably always going to end this way and he never should have dated her. He shouldn't have dated anyone, but he wanted to be liked and feel happy and normal.

Thank God, Dina put him on register and the day was insane. He barely had time to think in between saying 'Have a heavenly day' and waiting for debit cards to go through. He went outside for his break, and ate on Brett's memorial bench. He'd brought in his own salad with a vinaigrette he'd made himself. He didn't get to tell anyone that, he just said it to himself quietly. "Made it myself," he murmured. 

He needed a place to stay. He needed his own apartment. Then Amy could come over. Garrett wouldn't notice if Jonah went out a few nights a week even though he'd broken up with Kelly. Jonah would just say that he was giving Garrett some privacy. Some time alone. 

On the way out, Garrett rolled up to him. "If you and Kelly broke up and you clearly did, where did you sleep the last two nights?"

"Naomi's couch," Jonah said. He'd prepared for that. "We're still friends. I knew you liked your time alone, I didn't want to ruin that for you."

"Isn't Naomi engaged?"

"She is, he's great," Jonah said. "He's really very much not threatened by me."

"Now that I believe," Garrett said. 

"I promise, I'm still going to go out some nights so you have your alone time. And I'm already looking for my own place," Jonah said. "Not that I wasn't before, but I'm really really looking now."

"Okay then," Garrett said. 

He basically had to ask his dad and his mother for money to make a deposit and then he was rejected three times for bad credit. His father called him for an update and then said he'd cosign for Jonah. Jonah's dad had fantastic credit. He finally got into an apartment but he couldn't move in for three weeks. 

!!

Mateo told Amy he was definitely going to set up Kelly because she had to be able to do better than Jonah. "That's, like, the lowest bar in the world," Mateo said. "Jonah's barely attractive."

"He has crappy credit, too," Amy said. 

"I have so many cousins," Mateo said. 

"You have more than cousins, though, right? She's a great person," Amy said.

Mateo said, "You hate her. She was dating Jonah."

"She's a sweetie," Amy said. 

Mateo rolled his eyes. Amy decided to stop intervening. She felt like she couldn't come out as boning Jonah until Kelly was reasonably happy. Reasonably happy enough that Amy didn't have to feel super guilty about seducing Jonah away from her. It was so easy, too, seducing Jonah. And nice. It was great, actually. 

Amy was thinking happy thoughts about sex with Jonah when she bumped into Kelly. She said, "Sorry, sorry."

Kelly sniffled a little. "I'm sorry, I probably wasn't paying attention."

"No, don't be sorry, no, no," Amy said. "No, you should never be sorry. You're great, you're awesome."

"Thanks," Kelly said. "You're so nice."

"No, you're so nice," Amy said. "You're the best."

"Okay," Kelly said. "I'm going to go work. Thanks."

Amy told Jonah later, "I was pretty much about to offer her everything I had in my wallet, which was only $6 and tokens from Dave and Busters."

"We end up there a lot," Jonah said. "I mean, we who work at Cloud 9, not you and I. I've never been there with you specifically. It's a shitty date spot, I think."

"It's fun," Amy said. "That's the whole point of Dave and Buster's. Arcade games, bowling, dance dance revolution. You suck at all three, admittedly."

"I don't suck at the video games," Jonah said. He was very nearly pouting. "I'm saying it's loud, it's bright, I like my dates to be more a time to get know each other."

"So a movie," Amy said. "Preferably with no superheroes, I assume."

"Logan was nominated for an Oscar," Jonah said. "Also, Black Panther was incredible. So I don't think you can just dismiss superheroes like that. But no, actually, movies are more fourth, fifth date. First two or three I like food, coffee, maybe some hiking or a nice stroll."

"A stroll," Amy said. "Where are you planning to take me strolling?"

"Do we need first dates? We've done a lot of talking and bonding already. I've met your parents. And your daughter. And your ex-husband," Jonah said. 

They hadn't hung out for days because Emma had been with Amy. Right now their nights together were basically hanging out at Amy's. She really hoped when they could date, it wouldn't involve strolling. 

Jonah said, "I think we're actually at the dinner and a movie stage. Or live theater event."

"I like Dave and Buster's," Amy said.

"Then we can go there, too," Jonah said. "But I kinda already bought Hamilton tickets so I hope you're not rejecting live theater events."

"I'm dying to see Hamilton," Amy said. "Did you buy the tickets for Kelly?"

"No, I bought them yesterday. My brother asked me what I wanted for my birthday."

Amy looked at him in terror. "Oh, God, when is your birthday?"

"It's in three weeks," Jonah said. "I didn't tell anyone the past two years, so don't feel bad."

"And you're going to be 32," Amy said.

"33," Jonah said. He smiled. "Kelly kept saying it was my Jesus year and then I would say I'm actually Jewish and she would say Jesus was Jewish and then I'd change the subject."

"So I'm only 7 or 8 months older than you," Amy said. "I always thought it was more."

"Maybe you just think I'm immature," Jonah said. 

"Yeah, but that has nothing to do with your age." She pulled him close by the collar of his shirt. "I can't think of a segue, but we should definitely have sex. And I totally want to see Hamilton. With you." 

!!

By the time Jonah moved into his new apartment, it had been more than a month since he'd broken Kelly's heart and cheated on her and simultaneously started the best and most wonderful relationship of his life. Kelly still wasn't in a relationship even though she'd dated 4 of Mateo's cousins, Marcus, Tate, and two other guys from the store. Jonah had tried not to pay attention at some point. It wasn't any of his business. But he really wanted her to happy before he was publicly happy. 

Amy came out of his kitchen, wearing nothing but her underwear. She was the hottest thing he'd ever seen, including all the actors and actresses in Hamilton. That had been an incredibly impressive production. He was entranced by Amy's breasts. 

She said, "My eyes are up here, loser." She wiggled her hips, though, and he was pretty sure intentionally made her boobs jiggle a little. 

Jonah said, "Maybe we should come out as dating."

"You thought we should wait until Kelly is actually dating," Amy said. "I kinda like the thrill of secrecy."

"Amy? I think you like not telling Adam," Jonah said. 

"I sure do," Amy said. She sat down next to him on the couch. It was a nice IKEA couch. Everything was IKEA or deeply discounted Cloud 9, except for the bed which was thanks to his brother's birthday very large gift certificate to Crate and Barrel. 

She said, "I like not telling Adam and not telling Emma. That's shitty of me. It's just, you know, I feel like dating you isn't like dating some random hot cousin of Mateo. Clearly, we're long -- we have the potential to be long-term."

"Only if you stop talking about Mateo's hot cousin," Jonah said. Then he thought about what she'd said. He looked over and she was sort of avoiding meeting his eyes. Maybe they were just ignoring what Amy had said. Or he was supposed to be. He sucked at that. He said, "You think we have long-term potential."

"I do," Amy said, getting up from the couch. She walked around, and then put on a shirt. It was one of his plaid button downs and she couldn't button it over her boobs so it wasn't much of a cover up.

"Me, too," Jonah said. "I agree." He patted the seat next to him. "Wanna come over here and sit down next to me and then, somehow, since you're barely dressed, we have sex again?"

"Yes," she said, fervently. 

!!

Amy was naked on the couch, Jonah half on top of her, when she heard the key turning in the door. She pushed Jonah off her and reached for a blanket while he seemed to figure out something bad was happening as he some pulled on his discarded khakis like he was the Flash. So they were both mostly covered when Emma walked in followed by Adam. "Hey," Amy said, half sitting up. "Emma, I didn't know you were coming home."

"Obviously," Adam said. He had a judgey look in his eyes that Amy thought was completely unwarranted. 

"Emma, Adam, Jonah and I are dating and we were waiting to tell you," Amy said.

"Yup," Jonah said, retrieving his shirt from under the coffee table and putting it on. She noticed he'd made his boxers disappear somewhere. 

Emma said, "Huh. That makes sense. I knew you were dating someone." She looked at Amy and smiled. "I forgot one of my books for my school. So I was just going to spend the night here, okay?"

"Of course," Amy said. "It would be nice if you called, though."

"Got it," Emma said and went upstairs.

Adam said, "She thought you were out. Also, she texted."

"My phone is charging in the other room," Amy said, waving at the kitchen. Her blanket dipped and she pulled it back up. No free shows for Adam.

"How long has this been going on?" Adam sounded very unpleasant. 

"Ten whole weeks, Adam," Amy said. "That's it. Unlike some people in this room, I never cheated."

"You are never letting that go," Adam said. 

"You cheated on me, you didn't tell me for five years and then you started dating her after we got divorced. Within months of after we got divorced," Amy said. She realized she'd never told Jonah any of that. She'd told Dina, but they'd both been drunk. 

Jonah said, "Emma's friend's mom?"

"Yup," Amy said. She took a deep breath. "Anyway, I'm sorry I missed your text. Jonah and I are dating and probably will be for a while. So please don't act like a jerk about it to Emma."

"Fine," Adam said. He left. 

Jonah said, "He was sleeping with that woman you stole the lawn Santa from? I mean, before."

"Yeah, he told me a month later," Amy said. "I didn't know when Cheyenne stole her owl." She wrapped the blanket around her like a dress. "Don't tell Emma."

"Okay," Jonah said. He said, "When would that happen anyway? I wouldn't, I promise. But I can't see me and Emma having any conversation when that would happen or come up."

Amy sighed again and sat back down on the couch. "So I guess we're out."

"Out like done, or out like now everyone knows?" Jonah looked frightened.

"The second one, of course," she said. "Can we go upstairs so I can have clothes on?"

"Or not on," Jonah said as they went upstairs. 

"Emma's home," Amy said, quietly. "We are not doing anything that would cause embarrassing noises."

"Got it, got it," Jonah said.

!!

Since Emma and Adam knew, Jonah figured it wasn't long before everyone in the store did. So he went to tell Kelly, though he would be leaving out when it started. Or that he'd left his awful voicemail right before he first had sex with Amy. 

He'd been avoiding her ever since they broke up. Since he cheated on her and then broke up with her. He really did feel like an ass about the whole thing. 

Jonah found Kelly humming to herself while she cleaned up the maternity section. Jonah walked over to her and stood about two feet away as he said, "Hey. Can we talk?"

Kelly said, "Whatever."

"You're humming," he said. "You're happy, right?"

"Without you, yes, I managed that. Actually, after all the horrible men people around here tried to set me up with, and dating you, I started thinking about the one that got away. And I called up my ex-husband, and he missed me, too, and now we're dating. We're taking it slow, but I think I was right when I was 20, I think he was the guy for me," Kelly said.

"Oh, that's great, I'm so happy for you," Jonah said.

"I assume you came over here to tell me you're dating too," Kelly said. "It's Dina, right?"

"Are you joking?"

"No," Kelly said. "You two have a vibe. And everyone told me you got so excited when you two were fighting."

 

"Not Dina," Jonah said. "I'm not seeing Dina."

"Okay," Kelly said with a little huff.

"I'm dating Amy," Jonah said. 

"Oh," Kelly said. "For how long?"

"Not long," Jonah said. "You and me, we'd been broken up for a while." In the lifespan of a gnat, or a fruit fly, it had definitely been a while. "But I'm really glad for you. That's great."

"I was going to say, maybe I should suggest Amy talk to her ex-husband, but I guess she's got you," Kelly said.

"Yeah, Amy and Adam, that was a totally different situation," Jonah said. "I'm going to go now. Congrats, again. Yay for you dating."

Kelly rolled her eyes at him which he richly deserved. He went and found Amy and told her the good news. Amy said, "Oh, thank God."

"I told her we'd been broken up a while before we started dating," he whispered.

"A while?" 

"If any of us were gnats or fruit flies," Jonah said. "Sure."

"Fruit flies," Amy said. She smiled at him. "Of course you would think of fruit flies." She whispered in his ear. "You're a cheater." 

"You're irresistible," Jonah said. "Really, it's all your fault."

"I am pretty darn amazing," Amy said. "I'm going to tell Mateo I'm dating you so the whole store knows." She patted his butt as she walked away.


End file.
